The Hero, Part II
by TK21775
Summary: Sequel to The Hero.
1. Chapter 1

**Here's the sequel to The Hero, haven't written a lot of it yet, waiting to see what kind of reviews it gets so let me know.**

Ryan stepped out of the SUV, the early morning sun shining down on him. Today was the last first day of his high school career and for once, he was excited about it. It was a relief to get the last year started, because if it was beginning, it would be ending. The real reason for his excitement had more to do with the person getting out of the other side of his vehicle, her hair shining brightly in the sun as she smiled at him. She knew what her smile did to him, but even if she wanted to use it to seduce him, she only had to look at him and it would appear. He had the same affect on her and they were totally helpless around each other. One gaze from him and her heart began melting; one smile from her and his knees became unsteady.

It had only been three months since he had "run" into her, but those three months were filled with intense moments that only strengthened the feelings they shared. He had become her hero and she felt safe for the first time in a long time when he was around, which was why she wasn't nervous on the first day at another new school. With Ryan by her side, nothing was going to happen and as if he were reading her thoughts, he came over and slipped his hand into hers.

The spark they both felt at contact, even after all the time spent together, told them that what they had was something special. When they were together, starring into each other's eyes, they were the only two people around. The rest of the world disappeared, it was only them that mattered to one another and he pulled her closer, kissing her softly.

"You ready?" he asked, their foreheads resting together as he looked into her beautiful eyes.

"I'm ready for a lot of things," she replied, kissing him deeper than before, "but we probably don't want to be late on the first day."

Suddenly the idea of their senior year starting didn't sound like a great idea, at least not when it interfered with her lips against his. He loved the taste of her, her tongue exploring his, the way she let a soft moan escape from her throat. He could be with her all day and still not get enough of her, she was that sensational. If that wasn't' all, there was her perfect body, smooth skin that his hands explored, forgetting they were still standing in the school parking lot.

"Ew…get a room you two," Summer said as she noticed them, "Come on Coop, I'll show you around."

Ryan watched as the two girls walked off, Marissa throwing him a smile over her shoulder before catching up with Summer. Things couldn't get much better for him right now in his life, everything falling nicely into place for once. Unfortunately they were in Newport, back in school where more drama unfolded daily than a soap opera script and he wondered how long it would take for things to shake up a bit as he followed Seth across the grounds.

…

Ryan couldn't believe the amount of homework the teachers had thrown at them on their first day, ending all hopes that senior year would be a breeze. His bag crammed with books to bring home, the majority of his evening wasted now due to the workload, he escaped the confines of Harbor searching for Marissa.

They didn't share any classes together, and except for a brief lunch, he hadn't seen her all day. He found himself longing for one of those smiles that only she could produce, never imagining that a girl could have that affect on him and so fast. The last time he had walked these halls he couldn't wait to be done as most of the students were as shallow and fake as their parents but now there was someone he couldn't wait to see, who gave his body fits just by thinking about her.

The smile on his face as he saw her quickly disappeared, his feet moving faster to get to her. Luke Ward, captain of the water polo team and Ryan's favorite punching bag, was trying his charm as he backed Marissa up against his pick-up. Each step he took towards her to get closer, she took one back to get away, until there was no more room.

Ever since Ryan had arrived in Newport, Luke Ward had seized every opportunity to try and humiliate and/or kick the crap out of Ryan. Seth had been the one to torment, but as Ryan stuck up for him, he became the prime target. If it was only Luke, it wouldn't have been such a big deal as Ryan had kicked his ass plenty of times, but Luke seldom traveled without his goon squad and not even Ryan could fight his way out of all of those times.

"You ready Marissa?" Ryan asked, trying not to appear mad in case that was mistaken for jealously, but really wanting a reason to hurt Luke.

"Buzz off dweeb, I'm talking to her," Luke said, turning back around to face her, his arm against the truck blocking Ryan from Marissa.

"That makes two of us then," Ryan replied, pushing Luke's arm down so that the polo player stumbled.

"Ryan, lets go," Marissa pleaded, grabbing his hand to escape before the confrontation escalated any further.

"You'll pay for that Atwood," Luke grumbled as he regained his balance, slamming his hand against his truck in anger.

Ryan turned around instinctively, just in time to see Luke rushing at them. He yanked his hand out of Marissa's, forming a fist as he swung around, and cracked Luke squarely in the nose before the same was done to him. Blood sprayed as a sickening crunch was heard, Luke's hands flying to cover his face as he screamed in pain.

Hitting him felt good, real good and Ryan took a few steps towards Luke to continue the beating, but a hand grabbed his and stopped him. He was so focused on Luke, wanting to use pain as a lesson, that he had forgotten Marissa was standing right there. He relaxed his tensed muscles, the locked jaw, and cold eyes as he allowed her to pull him around the parking lot. By the time they arrived at his vehicle, he was calmed down and his breathing was back down to normal.

"Do you have to hit everybody?" Marissa nearly yelled at him as they got into the car and began driving away.

"He was coming at me," Ryan defended himself in disbelief, wondering how he was to blame for what happened.

"Would it be too much to just walk away once?" she countered, her arms folded tightly crossed her chest as she starred straight ahead.

"Why are you mad at me? He was going to hit me if I didn't hit him first and frankly I've had enough ass beatings to last me a lifetime without getting one from that jerk."

"If you haven't realized, I've had enough violence in my life and I was hoping I could start a new life here without it," Marissa said as he entered her drive, getting out of the vehicle, "You don't always have to be the hero Ryan."

He watched as she stormed across the drive, slamming the door shut loudly after entering the house. He couldn't believe that he had been made out the bad guy but one thing was certain, the rest of senior year was not going to be dull if it was anything like the start.

…

The rest of the week was even worse, though at the time Ryan wouldn't have believed it. More homework had been added to his pile and because he and Marissa had hardly said more than hello to each other, he couldn't concentrate enough to even make a dent into it. He was getting so far behind he had tried to get out of the charity function tonight but Sandy and Kirsten wouldn't allow him to stay home from it.

After spending nearly every free moment with Marissa since he had met her, not having her around or to be able to call was slowly driving him mad. With the exception of Seth/Ryan time, his time had always been his own. He had always done what he wanted with it but now Marissa had control of it, especially when she wasn't there. He was constantly thinking about her, nothing else able to occupy his mind and it was killing him.

He was so worried about her not speaking to him except to say hi at school and the unreturned phone calls that he gave in and enlisted Summer's help. The fact that he cared enough about making things right with Marissa that he would openly share his personal feelings with Summer told him he was completely head-over-heels for her. It didn't even bother him that he was feebly handing Summer ammunition with which to use against him forever.

"Ready to go kiddo?" Sandy asked, walking into the pool house where Ryan stood fumbling with his tie.

"No chance of getting out of it?" Ryan asked hopefully.

"If I'm getting drug to this then we're going to suffer together," Sandy responded, fixing Ryan's tie in a few quick fluid motions.

Ryan hated the social events in Newport that seemed to occur weekly. They were excuses to show how wealthy you were, for designer dresses to be worn and cocktails to drink, for gossip to spread while wearing fake smiles, and normally for some drama to happen. Ryan would rather walk to streets in Chino at night alone than attend these events but Kirsten had to show up which meant they all had to go.

When they arrived they spent the first few minutes with Sandy and Kirsten as they shook hands and smiled at the right people and then made their escape to a corner of the room. Ryan wished they could escape for good but just in case they were needed, they had to stay even if they hid for most of the night. Soon he was left to himself as Summer arrived, born for parties like these, and drug Seth back out into the sea of people with her.

She still hadn't been able to help him with Marissa, or she was enjoying watching him suffer, and he was tempted to try calling her himself again. He could understand where she was coming from but not the way she was handling it and he hated not being able to fix their problem. He decided it wouldn't hurt to try and call one more time but his phone rang before he could reach it.

"Ryan, its Eddie."

"Hey Eddie, I haven't seen you for awhile. Actually I haven't seen you since that night on the beach but I want to thank you for helping me out."

"I'm glad you remembered because now I need a favor."

Ryan listened as Eddie talked, keeping everything short and brief before promising to call back. He couldn't believe what Eddie had asked him to do and hoped that he wouldn't get that return phone call. He knew that he owed Eddie, but there was something more to the story he felt. He made a mental note to ask Sandy about it as he headed for the exit, needing some fresh air after the phone call.

"Hey," a voice said quietly behind him, breaking him from his thoughts.

"Hey yourself," he replied back, his breath taken away.

Marissa stood timidly in the moonlight, the strapless pink dress wrapped tightly around her, showing off her body perfectly. Her hair was pulled back, her face radiant as she waited patiently for him to break the ice that had come between them all week. He wanted to say something but seeing her look so beautiful made his mind numb and he couldn't think straight.

"Hopefully it's the dress rendering you speechless," she said, not being able to look him in the eyes.

"You look…amazing," he told her, his heart racing.

"Ryan, I'm sorry for this week. Its just been peaceful since the pier night and I was finally getting some sleep at night without the nightmares and then seeing you fighting again just brought all of those memories back up," she said quickly, telling him before she chickened out.

"I know but we could have saved a lot of time by just saying that right away instead of staying mad for a week," he said, closing the distance and taking her hands in his.

"So you forgive me then?"

"With that dress I think I could," he said, thinking he would have felt better about reconciling with her as she hugged him but he had more problems now.

She kissed him tenderly, hoping he knew that she was sorry for keeping her distance, but as he barely responded, she worried that she might have built a wall between them. For the first time since they met, it was awkward with just the two of them so they went back inside hoping the crowd could help that feeling disappear.

Soon most of the parents who hadn't raced away in their sports cars were beyond the tipsy point with their alcohol consumption. The kids now could do what they chose, whether it be running off to another party or begin drinking at this one, as no one would notice or if they did they wouldn't remember in the morning.

Ryan and Marissa chose to escape and soon found themselves walking hand-in-hand along the beach. It was a perfect night out, the moon was shining and the waves and sand made for a romantic setting but that was the farthest thing from Ryan's mind. They walked up to the lifeguard stand and sat down together, Marissa leaning back against Ryan's chest.

"What happened that night after I was shot?" Ryan asked after sitting in silence for awhile.

"What do you mean?" 

"Eddie, what happened with him?"

"He shot my father."


	2. Chapter 2

**Haven't updated this for awhile because I didn't know where I wanted the story to go but I have a few new ideas so I should update more frequently. Thanks to all those who reviewed, makes it more enjoyable to write knowing people like the story.**

"What do you mean he shot your father?" Ryan asked, wondering why he hadn't heard about this until now.

Even as he spoke, fragments of that night began to fall into place. He remembered two gunshots, one that had hit him causing him to go into a coma, but Volchek and Jimmy were both dead which left more to the story than he knew. Once he began thinking about it, if Volchek shot him and Jimmy shot Volchek, that didn't explain how Jimmy had died or how they had even escaped with Jimmy holding a gun. The only thing that was clear now was Eddie was more justifiable in asking for what he had than Ryan had believed.

"Does it matter? He's dead Ryan, I watched as they buried him. That is the only thing that matters to me," Marissa said as tears began streaming down her face, the events of that night coming back to her.

"It matters because the guy who helped us is calling for a favor, a big one, and I don't want to do it unless I owe him. I need to know what happened that night," he explained.

"You were shot," she began, her voice going flat as if she had detached herself from her physical body, "My father shot Volchek and then Sandy hit my father with the baseball bat. We thought it was over; Sandy and I putting pressure on your wound when my father got back up and was going to shoot us. We heard a shot and then my father was dead. Eddie was standing next to Volchek's body and had the gun in his hand. He shot my father and I'm glad he did it."

Ryan wrapped his arms around her, wanting her to feel safe. When the time came, he would do what Eddie asked because he owed him. Where he had come from, when you owed a favor, you paid it; it was that simple. If he had still lived there, it would be no big deal but his life had changed and for once, he had a lot to lose.

"What's the favor?" she asked softly.

"It's nothing," he lied, "We'll deal with it later."

…

Later came sooner than Ryan had expected or hoped for. The following day Eddie had called back and Ryan was now on his way to Chino. The only good thing about the whole situation was that it would soon be over and then he could go back to the life he had grown accustomed to. Tonight had to be his last night in Chino and then he had to sever all ties if he wanted any type of a future.

His phone rang again, the fourth time since had been driving and he looked to see that it was Marissa again. He tossed the phone onto the passenger seat without answering it, not wanting to have to tell her where he was going and what he was about to do. She was the  
reason he was doing this, relatively small when compared to her life, but she would tell him not to or try to come up to Chino to stop him. The only thing he wanted was to get up there, repay the favor, and get back home as quickly as possible. Getting back home would be enough for him even.

An hour later, the sun disappearing as darkness settled in, Ryan was now in the passenger seat as Eddie drove across town. The job was fairly simpler than he thought earlier – find the car, steal it, and race back to the garage without getting caught. They had done this countless times before and normally everything turned out alright except for the guy who owned the car but Ryan was nervous. This time his future held something more than a jail cell; he had a real family, college, and a girlfriend that he could lose. It was the first time he ever had anybody but himself to worry about when in this situation.

Something else wasn't right either, a feeling he had, and Eddie didn't help out by looking just as nervous. There was something more here than just lifting a car, something Ryan wasn't being told. Just as he was about to ask, Eddie slowed the car, killing the lights as he pulled to the side of the street.

"There it is," he said, pointing at an old car down the block.

"What's in the car Eddie?" Ryan asked after seeing it.

"Nothing, why?"

"Because you didn't call me to come all the way to Chino to boost a piece of junk."

"The trunk is full of cocaine."

"Eddie!" Ryan whispered fiercely.

"Look man, Theresa's pregnant and we're both working two jobs just to scrape by. This will put us ahead so that we can move out of here for good, start a decent life for the baby. I need this Ryan, this one thing from you and then you'll never hear from me again," Eddie pleaded.

Ryan let out a long sigh; he knew he would do this against his better judgment, not for Eddie and his new family but for Marissa. Eddie had given her the opportunity for a new life, one with Ryan in it, and he could not deny Eddie the same thing. Thirty minutes and he would be back on the freeway to Newport.

"We're even after this," Ryan relented, eyeing the surrounding area.

"I'll drive you right up to the car, wait until you get it started, and then we'll split up and meet back at the garage," Eddie informed him.

"No way, you want the car so you'll drive it. I don't need drugs in any vehicle I'm in," Ryan argued, switching seats with Eddie.

When Eddie nodded he was ready, Ryan quietly drove them up to the car without his headlights on. He pulled away quickly and just as quietly after Eddie got out, crouching next to the car as he worked the lock. The seconds drug on as Ryan turned his head around to watch halfway down the block, anxious to get out of this neighborhood. Eddie finally had the door opened and was just standing up to get in when Ryan saw movement out of the corner of his eye.

Running out of the house were three guys, headed straight for Eddie with guns in their hands. Ryan pressed firmly on the horn, distracting the gunmen with the loud noise and tipping Eddie that he had company. When he saw the headlights turn on from Eddie's car, he threw his vehicle in drive and stomped on the gas pedal. Gunshots rang through the night, filling the neighborhood silence with sounds of fireworks but the people who lived there knew better; they were too poor there for fireworks. As he checked in his rearview mirror to make sure Eddie was still behind him before they took different turns at the end of the block, a loud explosion deafened him and the mirror was full of fire.

He slammed on the brakes, twisting around in his seat to watch as a fireball reached towards the stars and the car Eddie had been driving slowly jump a curb before coming to a stop, engulfed in flames. His hand instinctively reached for the gearshift, preparing to put his vehicle in reverse and pull Eddie out but three figures surrounded the car, still firing shots into the fire and he knew it was hopeless. He sat there and watched, the flames hypnotizing as they danced over the car and not until he felt a bullet hit his car did his body react and he raced around the corner and through the streets of Chino.

…

Exhausted, Ryan entered the pool house, stripped down to his boxers and wife beater, and fell onto his bed. It was after three in the morning and the only thing he wanted to do was sleep but the night's events would not let him. Every time he closed his eyes he could see Eddie in the car as it exploded, the fire crackling along with the gunshots. Even with his eyes opened he could still smell the smoke and that was enough to begin reliving the experience again.

He had raced back to Theresa's house after making sure he wasn't followed, relieved when she had answered the door. Within minutes they were throwing all of her belongings, along with her mothers, into the car so they could escape town. If Eddie had been recognized or his car that Ryan was driving, then Theresa and her mom were in danger. Just because Eddie was dead, they would still want revenge for all of the drugs that had blown up and to send a message to anyone else dumb enough to try stealing from them.

Once he had sent the women out of town, giving them everything he had in his pockets which wasn't much since he knew he'd be in Chino, he jumped on the freeway and escaped as well. It had been a long time since he had been back to Chino or seen hanging around Eddie that he thought he was safe, but that didn't stop him from checking his mirrors and jumping on and off exits once he had put some distance between him and the town.

Now that he was home he felt safer and hadn't realized how tense he had been until falling on the bed. His body relaxed at being surrounded by the comforts of home and as it did, his mind finally comprehended what had happened. Theresa was pregnant and on the run with her mother, uplifted from the only home they ever knew, and Eddie was dead. Ryan hadn't even tried talking Eddie out of his plan, he simply went along with it so that he could be free of his debt to Eddie. As the night wore on, slowly transforming into dawn, he laid awake on his bed, unable to move, as he wondered if he'd ever be free of it.

**Let me know with reviews what you think of this so far!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Only had one review for the last chapter, thanks **thekiller00, **hopefully get a few more for this one. Let me know whether you like it or not, just nice to get some feedback when you post.**

Somewhere between dawn and early morning Ryan must have drifted off, though the sleep was light and the nightmares plenty. He jumped at the touch, instinctively spinning upright as his hands formed into fists and ready to hit, but he let his arms drop when he saw his attacker was Marissa. He slumped back onto the bed, the lack of sleep giving him a headache.

The only thing he wanted to do, besides turn back time, was to roll into a ball in complete darkness and sleep until life could be normal again. Everything was still too fresh and with limited sleep, his mind was going in thousands of directions. He wasn't even sure if Eddie's body had been identified by the authorities, if Theresa and her mom were safe some place, or if Eddie's killers knew that he had been an accomplice.

He raised his hands off his face and opened his eyes to see Marissa sitting on the edge of the bed, watching him nervously. He tried to force a smile but as he didn't smile all that much anyway, it didn't work. Instead he patted the bed next to him, inviting her to lay next to him. She scooted across, pushing herself up against him as he pulled her in tighter with his arms.

"I tried calling you a few times last night," she said quietly after a few minutes had gone by, not knowing if he was sleeping as she was faced away from him.

"I had to go out of town and take care of a few things," he replied, his face buried in her hair.

"For Eddie?"

"Yes," he said when his voice allowed him, hearing the name bringing flashes of last night's events to his mind.

"Are you done now?" she asked, rolling over so their noses nearly touched, their breaths on the other's face, "Promise me this is over, no more dangerous stunts."

"I don't know Riss," he said, wondering how much he should tell her, "I hope it is but I can't say for sure."

He held her tighter, not wanting to continue with their discussion. The less she knew, the less she had to worry about and he didn't want her to start looking over her shoulder again. Her life was beginning to settle down, no longer having to worry about anyone coming after her and he didn't want to be the reason that disappeared – especially if it was all for nothing.

Sometime while holding her, Ryan had drifted back to sleep. When Marissa was in his arms, he felt relaxed and at peace; she was the definition of happiness to him and when she was near, the world was a better place for him. While he was sleeping though, his subconscious took control and soon he was yelling out in his sleep as the nightmares played through his head like a bad movie that he couldn't shut off.

His eyes finally snapped open, his body covered in sweat as he tried to remember where he was at and why his heart was pounding so badly. He looked up and saw Marissa with her hand on the door, looking as if she were running for something. He softly called out her name and she stopped to look back, her face quickly changing from terror, to relief, and then to concern.

"Hey, I was going for help there," she said, quickly coming back to sit next to him, "You were screaming and yelling and I couldn't wake you up. What's going on Ryan?"

Before he could say anything, Seth and Sandy burst through the door, skidding to a halt as they saw that everything was normal in the pool house though seconds earlier it had not sounded like it. Sandy looked at his questioningly, the lawyer in him searching Ryan's face for answers and it all clicked together.

"Ryan, I was going to wait and tell you a little later but I'm guessing you already know what happened in Chino last night?" Sandy said with a raised eyebrow.

Ryan nodded, ashamed of what he had tried to do last night and for screaming in his sleep, and he couldn't look Sandy in the eye. The last thing he ever wanted to do was let the Cohens down, after all they had done for him it was the least he could do, but he knew that last night was exactly the sort of thing he had moved to Newport to avoid.

"Seth, Marissa, could you give us a moment here?" Sandy asked though it was more of a direct order.

Marissa kissed Ryan softly on the cheek before standing up and exiting the pool house with Seth, both still had worried looks on their faces. They were not used to seeing anything bother Ryan as badly as whatever had happened last night, and not knowing didn't help but their fear to rest. Sandy came over and sat down on the bed next to Ryan, waiting a few minutes to give his son a chance to calm down his breathing.

"What happened last night Ryan?" Sandy asked.

"Eddie called for a favor, said after what happened on the beach this summer that I owed him one. I drove up to Chino last night…"

Ryan sat there with his hands clasped tightly together, starring down at them as he told Sandy everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours. He left nothing out, even though as he spoke he knew how stupid both he and Eddie had been last night. Hearing the words out loud usually had that affect and if he would have slowed down last night and thought everything through, then he wouldn't be here right now having nightmares and Eddie would still be alive.

Instead of getting mad at Ryan, Sandy pulled him into an embrace. Ryan was still a good kid, always trying to help out others even though some of the circumstances weren't always the best choice. Sandy had been there that night when Eddie had shot Jimmy and because of that, he knew that Ryan believed he truly owed Eddie whatever he asked for. Eddie had saved all three of their lives and Sandy was truly grateful to him for that but also truly grateful that Ryan had been the one to come home last night.

"The funeral is on Tuesday if you want to go," Sandy said as he stood up, knowing that even if he did feel like punishing Ryan by grounding him that Ryan would punish himself worse, "If you need to talk kiddo, I'm always here or my cell phone is always on."

…

Tuesday morning Ryan found himself once again driving up to Chino, this time with a light mist dusting the windshield so that every once in awhile the wipers had to get flicked on. The only difference was that this time no one was trying to call him on his cell every few minutes to see where he was at, as Marissa, Seth, and Summer had joined him out of respect for Eddie helping them not so long ago.

The last time he was driving he remembered telling himself that it would be his last trip to Chino, he would have to cut all ties so that he could continue in working toward a better future. This time he knew it would be the last as there was no one left for him to come visit. Theresa and her mom were still on the run as far as he knew and today he would be saying the final good-bye to Eddie.

The car was way too quiet as they drove, Ryan turning on the radio to help fill the void of the silence. Normally he was telling Seth to keep his mouth shut every few minutes and Summer and Marissa would be chatting about the latest fashion and gossip but not today. The three of them were still worried about Ryan, who wouldn't talk to anybody about what had happened or what he had been up there to do. He had spent the last few days by himself, holed up in the pool house and when they did try to reach out to him, he kept his distance. It was hard to continue a one-sided conversation and eventually they stopped trying and left him to his brooding.

The drive was long, the uncomfortable stuffiness inside the SUV making it nearly intolerable, but eventually they arrived at the cemetery to pay their finally respects to Eddie. The sky was cloudy and overcast as light rain fell down upon them, and Marissa took Ryan's hand as they walked over to the gravesite where a handful of people had begun to gather. She squeezed it, wanting him to know that she was here for him if he wanted it, but instead of responding he starred straight ahead, his eyes fixed upon the hold that had been dug that morning.

An older women dressed in black was standing near the casket, trying to keep her shoulders from heaving up and down but finally relented and her sobs became audible. Ryan broke free from Marissa and went over to her, bending down as the lady saw him and embracing her tightly. Marissa watched from a distance as Ryan held onto Eddie's mother, seeing the pain in his face as he let the woman cry into his shoulder. She knew he still believed it was all his fault, it was what a surviving person did when a friend didn't make it out of a situation they were both in, but watching him sink deeper and deeper worried her.

When the crowd was assembled, a lot of people from Ryan's old crowd coming to pay their respects even though contact had been lost among them for awhile, Ryan continued to stand next to Eddie's mother, holding her up as she listened to the prayers being offered and then finally her son being lowered into the ground. The look of pain on his face had been replaced with a determined look, his eyes locked and fierce, and that scarred Marissa more than the earlier look.

The service was over, but the three friends kept their distance as Ryan shook hands with former friends, speaking a few words with some of them, and then saying his good-bye to Eddie's mother. By the time he joined them, his clothes were soaked even though the rain had not come down hard. He took Marissa's hand and began leading them back to the vehicle.

"Hey Atwood, that you?" a voice shouted too loudly for a cemetery, startling the group as they had their heads down.

Ryan looked up and saw unfamiliar faces though something told him he knew these guys. A lot of the faces had looked unfamiliar today even though they had spent their childhood together. He watched as the car pulled slowly up to them and stop a few feet away, two guys emerging from the vehicle who were not wearing smiles of long-lost friends.

"Get back to the car Marissa," Ryan warned her, pulling his hand from her grip.

"We need to talk to you Atwood," the shorter guy said as he walked up to Ryan, the taller man standing behind with his arms folded across his chest and a sneer on his face.

"So talk," Ryan said, his eyes trying to remain locked on the man in front of him.

"See, your friend Eddie here got himself into a little problem but he wasn't the only one there," the shorter man said, "We know the two of you were always close. If you were there, you better go into hiding because when we find out who was with him and blew up all our drugs, we're going after them."

"Me and Eddie hadn't talked in awhile," Ryan said, "so if you got something to say, I'm right here now. I'll save you the trouble of trying to find me."

"I don't think you quite understand Atwood," the littler guy snarled, stepping up so he was right in Ryan's face, "If we find out you had any part in this, it won't be just you we'd be after. We'll come after your entire family and after we're through with them we'll get that little girlfriend of yours as well."

All of the feelings Ryan had been bottling up for the last few days flew to the surface. Hearing about his family and Marissa being hurt had finally gotten him to snap. Without moving a hand, his head tilted back and then snapped forward in a blink of an eye. Before the guy had time to bring his hands to his nose, the blood spilling down as the cartilage snapped, Ryan was past him. His right arm flung forward, landing solidly into the jaw of the bigger man. His head was snapped to his right and Ryan was already pouncing on him, taking him to the ground while slamming his fist into any possible location as he tried to inflict as much pain as possible. The anger he felt watching Eddie's car blow up, for hearing about his family being threatened, was being released and he continued to rain blows down onto the guy until he was too tired to throw anymore.

When his rage subsided, he stood up, looking down at the two men he had beaten into bloody messes. He felt no remorse, nor did he feel any better. He would not stoop to their level and take out his revenge anymore than a beating, even though they deserved to be in the hole Eddie was now occupying. He walked over to the one who had threatened him, pulling him up off the ground by his collar so that their faces were inches apart.

"Threaten my family or anyone I care about again, and it will be your last. Do you understand that?" he growled, shaking the guy when he didn't answer, "Do you understand!"

"Yeah, but don't come back to Chino Atwood cause we'll be waiting."

"Don't worry, this place no longer exists to me," Ryan said before throwing him back down to the ground roughly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all the reviews that came quickly after posting the last chapter, makes it more enjoyable to continue on with the story. Someone mentioned that Ryan was a little scary and he will be for a little while longer because of what the story has in store. Enjoy and review.**

The weeks passed by, school went on, but Ryan continued to stay in his somber mood. Nothing seemed to be the same anymore; he couldn't get the nightmares to stop, his feelings stayed bottled up as he kept quiet about them, and he still blamed himself for what had happened. The only time since that night that he had felt alive had been when he was leaving the cemetery and he extracted some revenge on Eddie's killers.

His three friends had tried all sorts of things to get him out of his depression – movies, the diner, hanging out on the beach – but they couldn't get through to him. Each one had taken their turn repeatedly trying to get him to open up so that they could help him or at least understand a little what he was going through, but each time was like running head on into a brick wall. Any mention of how he was feeling or about what had happened only got Ryan to repress deeper and they eventually quit trying. It wasn't that they weren't still worried; it was just easier to act like the problem wasn't there after all this time.

Ryan knew that he couldn't go on like this much longer, at some point he would explode at trying to keep it all in like he did at the cemetery, but he didn't know how to go about letting his anger out slowly. He also needed a way to vent because if he didn't, his relationship with Marissa would be over. They were already on shaky ground, keeping their distance while trying to be together and it was only a matter of time before they would fall apart completely. She was the best thing in his life and he couldn't lose her, he just didn't know how to hang on to her.

As he thought back on when this had all started, he realized that the cemetery was the one time when he felt relaxed. When he was beating on those guys, he was letting it all out. It was a way for him to release his anger and thoughts and fears in a manner other than words, which was way better than lying on a couch talking to a shrink that he had never met before.

Without thought, something that had led him to this point of his life, he jumped into his SUV and began driving out of the high class end of town and down into the slums. He had heard of a place around the area where he might be able to solve his problem. The fact that it was a Friday night, completely dark, and he was driving past streets with no lights and people sipping out of bags on the corners worried him in the least. It was doing the complete opposite, exciting him as he thought about what could happen in the next few hours. This feeling only helped him to determine that he was making the right choice and he continued through the streets until he saw a run down bar with a gravel parking lot full of old cars and beaten up trucks.

He slipped his hood up, hoping that he wouldn't get carded in a place such as this, but when he walked in to the loud music, louder screams, and air full of smoke he saw he wouldn't have a problem. It was hard enough to see the person next to you, much less hear them, and he walked up to the bar in an attempt to find the owner.

As he waited for the bartender to go find the man he was looking for, Ryan sat down at the end of the bar on a stool and turned to face the establishment. There were crowds of people all standing around a big circle, their fists pumping in the air while the other hand held a beer and some held a cigarette as well. All of their attention was fixed on the middle of the room, which held a platform higher up so that everyone could see and had a linked fence around it so no one could get in or out. The exception was the two people that were already inside, stripped of their shirts to show the muscles and sweat as they circled around each other until one found an opening and they began fighting again. The crowd cheered even louder as punches were thrown and kicks landed, yelling at the guy they had their money on to come out victorious.

Ryan watched as a man that resembled more of a giant picked up his opponent into a bear hug and squeeze. After what seemed an eternity, a ref jumped into the ring and tapped the big man on his shoulder, holding up his hand in the air once the other man's body fell to the mat, gasping for the air that had been deprived. At that moment the owner walked up to Ryan, they discussed what went on at the place, and two minutes later Ryan found himself without a shirt and walking into the ring.

His opponent would be the bear hugger, the winner would continue to stay in the ring until he lost or was too tired to continue on. Since their had been no one willing to try out their luck against this man, Ryan had moved right up to the front of the line and his heart began pumping faster as the door to the cage was slammed shut. He walked slowly around the mat, keeping the distance between him and the giant, his eyes flicking out to the crowd to see handfuls of cash being held up and laughter as they saw the next victim.

He had a second to shake out his arms, try to loosen his body up before the giant rumbled towards him. The entire ring shook at the weight of the man's feet slamming into it as he lumbered across, ready to take out Ryan in one hit. A quick side step to his left allowed Ryan to escape by an inch, the giant slamming into the cage but recovering quickly after realizing Ryan had not been sandwiched. Another attempt was made to bull doze him over but this time after Ryan side-stepped, he slammed a fist into the man's back.

Before he could hit again, he saw the giant look back and smile, the fist in his back nothing more than a fly that was pestering him and Ryan was thrown across the mat into the cage on the other side. He shook his head, trying to clear the cobwebs that were filling it as his opponent rushed again, this time slamming him between the massive rushing body and the cage that gave little bounce. Stars clouded his vision, the room seemed to be spinning but just as he figured out that his body had been lifted up and was being twirled around, the man released him and he fell hard to the mat.

The crowd cheered; pleased as much of the money had been wagered on the giant but Ryan was not done. He slowly raised himself up to his hands and knees and after regaining his sense of balance, stood to his feet. Nothing mattered at this moment, his fears and troubles released from his body. The giant had his back to him, his arms raised in what he thought was a victory. Ryan lowered his head and ran with all his might, squarely hitting the man in the back with his right shoulder and driving him forcefully into the mat. Quickly jumping onto the man's back, the sudden movement bringing back the stars, he slammed his fist repeatedly in between the shoulder blades, the sides, the ribs, until his fists hurt from the punching. He was exhausted, his arms weak, and then he was catapulted into the air.

…

Marissa sat on Ryan's bed in the pool house, waiting for him to arrive home. The only time she saw him anymore was at school, his nights were filled with anybody's guess. No one knew what he was doing and he wouldn't talk about it, but each morning would bring a different bruise or cut somewhere visible and she didn't even want to imagine how many more he was concealing. She couldn't take this anymore, it wasn't the type of relationship that she wanted to be in if she could even call it a relationship. It was more just words, people calling them a couple, than it was the two of them ever doing anything; the type of boyfriend – girlfriend relationship that grade school kids enjoyed.

She knew that whatever he was doing, it was causing him physical pain and yet he continued going back for more due to all the new marks on his face. She wanted to help him, let him know that she was here for him and was willing to do anything she could to save him as he had done so many times for her but she couldn't take it anymore. The unreturned phone calls, the one-sided conversations when they did find five minutes to talk, the mysterious disappearances from him that he wouldn't explain; it was too much for her to handle anymore and it was apparent that he did not want her help.

Darkness settled in and the moon rose in the sky, casting a faint light that reflected off the backyard pool and still she waited. Somehow she had found enough courage to face him tonight and she would. If she didn't, she wasn't sure if she ever would and things couldn't continue going the way they were. Senior year was suppose to be a time that you remembered forever, full of good memories of friends that you would eventually lose contact with but still could catch up with after years passed. It wasn't suppose to be crying yourself to sleep every night, wondering where your boyfriend was or who he had turned into.

Around midnight the door creaked open, rising Marissa from the light sleep she had fallen into while waiting. Ryan was trying to be quiet, slowly shutting the door as softly as possible as he snuck into his room before tiptoeing around in an attempt to find the lamp. Marissa waited until he had it turned on, noticing his back was one big collage of colors from the old and new bruises as he took off his shirt before clearing her throat.

"Shit!" he yelled, jumping around after hearing her, his chest looking no better than his back had, "You scared the crap out of me."

"Maybe you'll understand how the rest of us have been feeling about you lately," she replied, standing up to get this over with, "Care to finally explain why you're body looks like a punching bag?"

"Just something I have to do Riss," was the only answer she got.

"Well there's something I have to do too Ryan," she yelled, tears coming to her eyes after promising herself that she wouldn't let him see her cry, "I don't know if you're aware of this, but the two of us haven't been doing so hot lately. You won't talk to me or anybody for that matter, you won't explain where you are all the time, and you won't talk about why you look like you go out every night and get the shit kicked out of you."

"Riss –"

"No! I've got something to say," she yelled louder, "I don't care if I'm not strong enough to handle what has been going on because I've realized I don't want to be. The two of us, we're no longer an us Ryan. We haven't been for a long time so it should be no surprise. Eddie died two months ago and I've tried to help you but I can't do it anymore. Good-bye Ryan."

With that she ran out of the pool house, leaving Ryan there standing as he watched her go. She was right, everything she had said had been the truth and instead of telling her that, he let her go. Carefully he lowered himself down onto his bed, trying not to move too fast as tonight had been no different than every other night had been for the last month. It was tonight though that he finally realized maybe the pain was more inside of him than it was outside.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to those who reviewed the last two posts, put them up together pretty fast. Hopefully everyone who reads this one will review, let me know what you think. I'm sure it's not quite what everybody wants to see in the story but it will help set up things that are still to come. **

Ryan woke up the following morning, his body drenched in sweat. For the first time in awhile he had not dreamt of Eddie, instead he was thrown into a dream world where Marissa had waited for him to arrive home and before he knew what was happening, she had broke up with him and was gone. His body shuddered just thinking about the possibility, she was the only good thing that he still had going for him, but as he tried to rise out of bed, his body screamed in pain at the beating he'd been taking and the memories of last night came to haunt him during the day. The fog cleared from his mind and he painfully became aware that last night had not been a dream. He was waking up to his first day without Marissa Cooper in his life, where she was no longer his girlfriend, and his world became even worse than what it had recently become.

Automatically he reached for his cell phone on the nightstand, needing to call her and apologize for how he had been acting the last month. If he opened up and explained what he had gone through, the way he still blamed himself for what happened, then she would see that he hadn't been ignoring or hurting her on purpose. She would see what he was dealing with and they would get through it together, hand-in-hand, and then it would be nothing but the past for them.

Almost as quickly as these thoughts raced through his mind he knew that he wouldn't call her. He couldn't explain what had happened to her, the accident had triggered back his former self that kept feelings contained. Feelings weren't meant to be shared, to discuss and dissect with people. Instead he replaced the phone and slowly walked to the shower so that the hot scolding water could try and loosen up the muscles that hurt like all hell.

Driving to school, he wondered how things were going to be between them now. They normally did everything together or with Seth and Summer, but now that they were no longer dating, how was he suppose to act around her? Would she even come around him? Talk to him? Go running away at the sight of him? The questions circled through his head to the point he thought he might become dizzy as he pulled into the school parking lot, hoping the day would go by quickly.

The first time he caught sight of her, she was standing around a group of girls, people that Ryan hadn't even known went to Harbor. She glanced at him, their eyes locking for a second in reality, an hour in their heads, before she turned her attention back to the group. That was enough of an answer for him on how they were going to handle things and he intentionally kept his eyes down the rest of the day less they catch another glimpse of her, which would tear his heart to pieces.

The moment the final bell rang, Ryan's body moved quicker than it had all day long. He was up and out of his seat before the teacher finished talking, desperately needing to escape from the smothering hallways. Just knowing where she was in the building, having walked her to class since the first day of school, was enough to torment him. At least at home he was safe within the pool house walls, not knowing where she was at or if she was close by. Lock the door, pull the shades shut, and the outside world was closed off from him.

Knowing he wouldn't be able to concentrate on school work, he decided on not even bothering to bring any books home with him. It would save him the trouble of carrying them since they would all remained closed once he arrived home and after slamming his locker door shut, he exited the school to step into the brilliant California sunshine. The sun's rays instantly warmed his arms as he stepped into them, the perfect day to be at the beach or enjoying the outdoors. Instead of hurrying to his car as he had done exiting his final class, Ryan tried to enjoy the walk across the school grounds. By the time he was halfway across the yard, the rest of the school had caught up to him and he was lost amongst the crowd.

A large crowd had formed just ahead of him, the students pushing against each other as they tried to get closer up to the front to witness whatever had captured everyone's attention. Ryan continued to walk past them, not caring to stop but then decided he had nothing else going on except to hide out in the pool house. He rounded the group and snuck in where less people were standing, wondering what could be so interesting that gathered such a large group together. He finally made it to the front where he could see without having to peer over somebody's shoulder and instantly regretted it.

In the middle of the circle was Luke Ward and a bunch of his water polo teammates, which would have been bad enough, but there were also a few people standing there with them that did not fit into their crowd. Even without going to Harbor, it was apparent which guys did not belong in the middle of the circle with the polo players just on appearance, but with their underwear having been pulled up to the middle of their backs, it was more than just obvious. Ryan watched as the crowd laughed along with the polo players who continued to torment the select individuals with spit balls, knocking their books out of their hands, and anything else they could think of.

Across the circle that had formed, Ryan saw Seth standing there watching, knowing that a few of the guys in the middle were friends of his. They were the ones who read comic books and played video games instead of going to the drunken beach parties on the weekends. Seeing the look in Seth's eyes, the look of intense hatred but also knowing that he couldn't do anything to stop it or he would be thrown in and humiliated as well, and Ryan snapped. It didn't take much for him to blow up anymore, not with all the feelings he was keeping bottled up and with Marissa dumping him the night before.

He walked out into the circle as the five players continued picking on the three guys, no one else doing anything about it except to laugh at their humiliation. He could hear the laughter, the crude remarks being thrown out from the safety of the crowd as he reached the first polo player. He grabbed him on the shoulder, spun him around, and laid him out with one punch before the kid knew what was going on. The instant he hit the ground the crowd became quiet, all noise ceasing as they watched Ryan stick up for kids that had never been stuck up for before.

He zeroed in on Luke, knowing that it was him that had ultimately begun this, and swung a right hook at him as Luke turned around to see why everyone had quieted down. His head whipped back the way it had just been facing, the blow taking his legs out from under him, and he landed face down in the grass. Ryan glared at the three remaining players, almost daring them to take one step towards his direction, but instead they backed up and disappeared into the crowd. Two swings and the whole thing was over with, the crowd slowly backing up but not taking their eyes off of Ryan. Ryan went over to where a pile of books were laying on the grass, bent over to pick them up, and handed them to one of the kids who had just finished pushing his underwear back into his pants. There was still spit running down the side of his face, wads of napkins made into spit balls layered in his hair as he took the books Ryan was offering him with a whispered thanks.

In Chino Ryan had spent most of his life fighting or getting punched, but when they fought, it was always with a reason. They fought over territory, to defend their name or their families, to settle a bet; it didn't always have to be the greatest reason but there always was one. He never had seen the cruelty people could be capable of, even after witnessing stabbings, gang fights, spousal abuse, what drugs could do to a person, until he came to live here in Newport. Here people were picked on because they didn't wear designer labels, or because they weren't athletic or pretty. It didn't stop at being humiliated once or twice; the rich popular kids humiliated them everyday and sometimes more than that because they could get away with it. As Ryan walked towards his car thinking about this, he wondered if leaving Chino in the first place was ever such a good idea.

…

Ryan ran, his heart beating fast from the past hour until he didn't think he could go on. He continued pushing himself, putting his body through more physical pain with the run and the beatings at night than any of his mom's boyfriends ever had. After leaving the school, being stuck in the pool house hadn't seemed like a good idea and instinctively he wound up at the beach. He had almost forgotten about his runs, coming here when he needed to escape his thoughts and life. It was here on the beach that things always made the most sense to him and after running for awhile he realized how much he missed it, how much he needed this.

Nearly two months of school had gone by, holding back then what was the promise of an eventful year but somehow that had all escaped him. He thought back to the first day of school when he couldn't wait for it to start, begin his senior year and all of the excitement that it contained with Marissa by his side. That had been the last day when everything had seemed to be working out for him. He was a member of the Cohen's family, he had a great girlfriend, and he would be doing something that nobody in his family had ever done – complete high school. Then with a snap of the fingers it had all become lost. Marissa was gone, he hardly spoke to Sandy, Kirsten, or Seth anymore, and school was the last possible place he wanted to be. There he had to deal with all the rich, snobby kids that pulled stunts like earlier today and he had to see Marissa in between classes in the hallways which was more painful then the fights he had been in at the bar. In two short months his life had gone from the top to the bottom and he ran harder, hoping to flee from it all as if it were that easy.

He pushed and pushed until his body could go no longer, needing to stop and rest as he gulped in the sea air. Sweat dripped from his face, his hair just as wet as if he had jumped in the ocean off to his left. For brief moments his mind had left him, he couldn't remember if he had thoughts or not while running and the moment he stopped, his brain clicked back on. He wanted to run further, farther, if it meant a rest from his life but his body could take no more so instead he walked along until he came up to the life guard stand where his life had changed not so long ago.

The sun was nearly done for the day, just a sliver still above the water casting its last light in a red and pink color, the beach beginning to darken as night became closer. He walked up to the stand, wondering how things could have been different if he had never met her that day, if she had never worked up the courage to talk to him as he hadn't been able to make the first step. He didn't realize that she was sitting there, watching him as he came closer, until she spoke out.

"Hey," she said quietly, though a gun firing might have been softer to him.

"Hey," he replied when he looked up, seeing her sitting there with her legs pulled up to her chest, her chin resting on her knees.

"Haven't seen you here in awhile."

"I nearly forgot about this place," he answered, amazed at how beautiful she could look, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come here. I was running and I guess I was –"

"Drawn here?" she finished, knowing how he felt better than he did, "I saw what you did today after school, helping out those kids."

"I'm sorry, I know how you hate violence but I just had enough. Those kids have done nothing wrong, certainly nothing that condones being humiliated in front of the entire school," he said, trying to give her his point of view as fighting had been what started their relationship to fade away.

"They deserved it," she replied back, smiling at him in one of those smiles that only she could.

"I'll leave you alone," he said quietly, wanting nothing more than go sit beside her and wrap his arms around her, let her know how much she meant to him yet.

"Ryan?" she called out after him as he turned to leave, "Is it going to be this awkward between us?"

"I suppose it will be," he answered, noticing how her playful eyes seemed to be dull now.

"I didn't want for this to happen, for us to turn out this way," she said quickly, the words out of her mouth before she could think, "I just, I still love you Ryan, I hope you know that."

He smiled at her, the first genuine smile that had come from his lips in a long time. He knew she still loved him, just in the same way that he knew that he could never stop loving her. They could spend their lifetimes apart, never seeing each other again after this night and he knew that he would never love someone as much or in the same way as he loved Marissa Cooper. He turned away, drinking in her beauty so that he could remember just the way she looked tonight, and forced himself to run.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for all the reviews, glad to see people are enjoying the story. Here's a shorter post to throw into the middle before something really interesting happens. Let me know what you think.**

"Ryan, I'm concerned with your recent behavior that was displayed yesterday," Dr. Kim was saying as Ryan and Sandy sat across the desk from her, listening to her words, "I've been informed that you attacked two students which automatically calls for your suspension and possibly expulsion upon further review. I've talked with some of your teachers to see how you've been doing and they've informed me that your work is slipping, not up to your usually standards. This is your senior year Ryan, Harbor took a risk taking you in and you have proved yourself very nicely but this lack of recent effort and fighting is not what you need right now."

Ryan tried to focus on what she was telling him but his blood was boiling after hearing that he attacked students. No doubt some threats were made about donations from the fathers of the two students he hit, turning Ryan into the bad guy while the other two got off free. He wanted to jump out of his chair and yell until somebody actually listened to him but he knew that this was neither the time nor the place for such an outburst. Doing that would only strengthen the case of expelling him which he was sure that a few certain individuals were lobbying for.

Sandy looked over to see how Ryan was taking the news and saw the clenched jaw, aware that Ryan was definitely not taking it well. He knew that his son was in trouble, it was apparent from his recent behavior at home, almost as if he transformed back into the kid Sandy had brought home from juvy. He thought that Ryan had made a lot of progress since that day, but after the last few months he was worried that it might have all been lost.

"So you can clean out your locker this morning and once we reach a decision on your status at Harbor, we'll call and inform you on it," Dr. Kim finished up, her eyes going back and forth between the two gentlemen in front of her.

"So I just clean out my locker?" Ryan asked, doing his very best to keep his voice respectable, "I don't get to say what happened in my defense? You're just going to automatically assume that the story you heard from the two "victims" is what really happened?"

"Ryan, I've spoken to many students that witnessed you punching both Luke Ward and Greg Jacobs. Everyone confirmed that you walked up to the two boys, punched each one, and then walked away," Dr. Kim explained.

"Did any of them explain why I hit them? I'm not going to deny hitting either one of them, I punched both of them, but I would like to know what is going to happen to them for tormenting three other students. They were picking on three kids, spitting on their face, giving them wedgies, blowing spitballs in their hair, knocking their books to the ground; all of this was done inside a circle of students that had formed laughing while it happened. That's why I went over and hit both of them, and I would have certainly laid the other three polo players out if they hadn't run away. You want to suspend me, that's fine but there certainly better be other students suspended for their behavior if that's what happened," Ryan said, saying more to Dr. Kim in that short time then he had his entire years at Harbor.

"We will look into those allegations that you have just made and deal with them accordingly," she said, though Ryan knew that nothing would come of it. The rich would skate free just because their daddies donated too much money to the school and nobody wanted to threaten that.

"While you're having your time off," Dr. Kim said as the two stood up to leave, "Why don't you look into colleges, take some visits, something productive. It might also be a good idea to talk to someone about what's been bothering you so much lately."

Ryan tried to smile, it turned out as more of a sneer, and then walked out while Sandy was saying a few things to Dr. Kim. He hoped that classes wouldn't finish before he cleared out his locker, knowing he would love nothing more than to knock the smug looks off a few faces when they walked by. If he did that, he knew that he would definitely be expelled but the satisfaction he would receive might be worth it.

The hallways seemed so deserted and quiet as he walked down them alone to his locker. He had never been by himself in the school, always with hundreds of other students making their way to classes. He wanted to scream, hear the echo of his voice as he let out the frustration building up inside of him, but kept quiet instead. He would vent when he was ready, alone, because that's what he did. He didn't need any help, certainly not talking to someone about his problem as he had been advised to do. He had just tried to do that in her office, explain what had happened yesterday, and his words were brushed away just as quickly as they left his mouth.

He slung the backpack over his shoulder, stuffing a few books into it that might or might not be opened on his "break". Even if they did allow him to come back, he would have to keep up with the curriculum or his grades would slip even more than they had already. He wondered how big an "if" that was, considering how much trouble they had getting him into the school in the first place, with the more distinguished parents try to block his entrance.

"Hey," he heard her say quietly; even though the open locker door was blocking his view he knew her voice anywhere.

"Hey," he replied back, shutting the door so he could look at her.

One look and all his frustrations that had built up in Dr. Kim's office disappeared. She was the only person that could take away everything he was feeling and make it melt away. She could also read his face like an open book, something else that nobody except her could seem to do and noticed that something was wrong with him.

"What happened?" she asked, concern written across her face.

"I've been suspended indefinitely for my actions yesterday," he said, giving her a half smile as he remembered what she had said to him last night at the beach.

"That's not fair, those guys did a lot worse than what you did," she remarked, his words causing her anger to flare up.

"It's fine, really," Ryan said, not caring anymore about it, "I could use a vacation, maybe go check out some colleges. It would be nice to get away from this place for awhile."

"A change of scenery might do you some good," she agreed, "Just as long as you promise to come back?"

"Riss, look," Ryan started and then stopped, having an internal struggle with himself on what he wanted to say to her and if he could say it, "I'm sorry about the way things turned out. The summer with you was the best three months of my life, I really wanted things to work out but –"

She stopped him, placing a finger on his lips that he didn't see coming as his eyes were focused on the floor when he was trying to convey his feelings. He looked up into her eyes, those beautiful dazzling eyes that he could see still had some sparkle in them, and she slowly leaned in until their lips met. It was a soft kiss and then before either realized it became more passionate, the two trying to put their feelings out there with their lips. When they broke apart, he was so glad that she was smiling at him that he could have kissed her again but he waited until she made the first move.

"Ryan, go figure things out and then come back home. I love you, I know that no matter what happens in my life I always will love you, but before we can do anything about that you need to take sometime and decided on what you want. I'll wait right here for you, I promise just as long as I know that you'll find your way back to me," she said, her love evident in her eyes, the small smile that she couldn't keep off her lips after having kissed him.

"I'll call you, you know, when I'm away," he mumbled, the only thing he could think to say as his thoughts were still on the kiss they shared.

"Hey Ryan," she called out as they turned to go their separate ways, her back to class and him somewhere hopefully far away for awhile.

"Yeah," he replied, turning back so that he could look at her one more time, each time just like the first for him.

"Just don't make me wait to long," she said with a knee-knocking smile before she disappeared around the corner.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for all the reviews for the last post, glad to see everyone is enjoying the story. The story takes a little twist here so let me know what you think after reading.**

"So Florida, really man?" Seth asked once again as he pulled out of the driveway to drive Ryan to the airport, still having not figured out how Ryan being suspended could lead to such a great vacation.

"It's just for a few days Seth," Ryan answered, having done through this discussion already countless times over the last few days, "It's a college visit, I've got a few friends down there and then I'll be home."

"Explain this all one more time because I really don't understand," Seth continued on, "How can I get suspended from Harbor, the school that I've hated for years, and get my parents to fly me across the country for a vacation? Really, I want exact details so I can figure it out before you come home, maybe meet you down there for a few days."

"Seth, just drive faster please so that I don't miss my plane and have to be stuck here listening to you any longer," Ryan said sarcastically, even though he secretly wished that his words would be answered.

The comment seemed to shut Seth up and they spent the next few minutes driving in silence, each of them lost in their own world. Seth kept wishing that another ticket would present itself upon arriving at the airport, that his parents were playing a sick trick on him while Ryan's thoughts drifted to a girl that had been stuck in his head for months now. Not so long ago he thought that it was over between them, then found out she still wanted to be with him, but now he was flying across the country in order to figure it out. Somehow thinking about it just made him more confused and a small part of him wished that Seth would begin talking again to take his mind off it.

"Hey Ryan, wonder where all those police cars are headed off to?" Seth said, referring to the five police cars that had sped past them in the opposite direction, lights flashing as they weaved in and out of traffic.

"As long as they're not holding up my plane, I really don't care," Ryan commented, although he couldn't remember ever seeing more than two police cars together since he had lived in Newport and that had been after burning down a house.

"Probably some husband that came home earlier and found his wife in bed with the gardener," Seth offered, laughing at his own humor that passed Ryan by.

A cell phone rang inside the car, both boys instantly reaching at theirs. Ryan got to his first since he wasn't occupied and realized that it was Seth's phone, not his. He turned to watch as Seth answered his phone, knowing that it could only be a handful of people that included Kirsten, Sandy, or Summer. By the smile on his face as he said hello he realized that it would be Summer since they had just said good-bye to Kirsten and Sandy not more than five minutes ago, though that still wouldn't stop Kirsten from calling just to make sure they had everything they needed.

He went to turn his eyes back to the road in front of them, not wanting to witness Seth and Summer's conversation that would ultimately get him thinking about Marissa again. It was hard enough leaving right now, wanting to figure out how they could work things out between them but also knowing that she had been right in the hallway – he needed to figure things out first before they had a chance to make things last.

Suddenly the car skidded to a complete stop, swerving as the brakes were stomped on, until Seth pulled them over to the side of the road. Ryan turned to Seth, ready to punch the hell out of him for the stunt he just pulled, scarring Ryan more than he wanted to admit. If he was in control it was fine, but when he wasn't, he didn't like surprises like the one Seth had just done. The words that he wanted to yell fell short from exiting his mouth after seeing the look on Seth's face, his forehead resting on the steering wheel and his face a pale white. Ryan thought that maybe Seth had passed out, it would explain the driving, but he noticed the cell phone still attached to his ear and the rapid breathing.

"Seth, what's wrong?" Ryan asked loudly, shaking his brother by the shoulder to get him out of the trance he seemed to be in.

"There's been a shooting at the school," Seth said as he turned to look at Ryan, fear draining all the color out of his face, "Summer and…Marissa are locked in a classroom right now waiting for help."

Ryan tried to take in deep breaths to help offset the suffocating feeling that was happening to him as he heard the news. Marissa was huddled in a classroom, there was a shooter loose in the school, and the cops were still minutes away if they had just passed their car. Instinct took over and he jumped out of the vehicle, racing around to the driver's side where he pushed Seth over and got behind the wheel. His foot stomped on the gas, the tires squealing as he turned the car around as fast as he could without flipping it over.

"Keep talking to Summer Seth, get her to tell you where they are at," Ryan said, racing in and out of cars as he sped towards the school.

He kept his focus on the road in front of him, the cars he passed whizzing by, but he strained to listen to what Seth was saying on the phone. Anything to let them know that the girls were alright, that they were locked safely away on the other side of the school from the shootings. The news was something that you never wanted to hear, much less have it happen to you or someone you love, but the next worst thing after hearing it was not knowing what else was going on. His mind was playing scenarios in his head that made his stomach knot up, his hands sweaty, his eyes want to close to keep the visions out of his head.

They pulled sharply into the school parking lot and Ryan was forced to swerve onto the lawn to avoid the vehicles cluttered together in the parking lot. By now people had been notified of what was happening and every parent of a Harbor student was there trying to get to their son or daughter to make sure they were safe. There were people abandoning their cars as they piled unorganized into any space they could fit, running across the lawn to get to the school where policemen had formed a line trying to hold everyone back. The shooter was still in there, nobody knew what was going on, and the panic was spreading like wildfire amongst the crowd.

Ryan pushed his way through, not stopping to see if the person he had pushed past was alright or not. There was only one person that he wanted to see and he wasn't going to let anybody get in his way. Halfway through he noticed Seth wasn't behind him, a few people back as the crowd tightened to get up front. He yelled for the cell phone, catching it in the air as Seth through it to him, and placed it to his own ear.

"Summer, it's Ryan, how are you?" he said, continuing to elbow his way through the throngs of people.

"Ryan, I'm scared," Summer cried over the phone, "There were all these loud bangs and then people running and now it's quiet. I don't like the quiet Ryan."

"Summer, you're going to be just fine but you need to listen to me," Ryan said, "Tell me where you are so that I can come get you."

"We're in the science lab."

"OK, I'm coming to get you now but I'm going to hand the phone over to a police man so that you can talk to him and let him know what is going on in there, alright?" Ryan said as he reached the front, having to push people off his back from behind now.

"Ryan, don't leave me!" Summer wailed into the phone.

"Summer, I'll be right there, I promise. Just talk to this guy and everything will be alright," he said in the best calm voice he could at the moment and then yelled at a policeman standing in front of him, "Hey, I've got a girl on the phone that's inside the building!"

That got the guys attention and he pulled Ryan out of the crowd, walking him up to where a group of people were standing around a table looking at blueprints of the school. He could hear bits and pieces of their conversation until he got closer and then heard something about the doors being all chained shut.

"Sergeant, I've got a kid here who claims to have a student on the cell phone that is inside the building," the policeman escorting Ryan said as they got to the table.

Instantly everyone's head snapped up, finally a good piece of news that meant they could communicate with the inside. One man reached his hand out to Ryan for the phone, probably the sergeant, and Ryan handed it over as all the eyes stayed locked on the phone. Ryan knew that he only had a few seconds before he would be remembered again and escorted back to the crowd to wait with all of the others and he took the opportunity. With everyone's attention on the conversation with Summer, he took off running for the school, avoiding the front doors but instead heading for the corner so that he could try and find a way in back where the science lab was located.

He heard yells calling after him but he kept going, reaching the corner and leaving the crowd behind him. He ran until he reached the other side of the building, looking back to notice that nobody was chasing him any longer. Somehow he had to find a way into the school, not just stand around and stare at blueprints. He had to get to Marissa before she was hurt, before something happened and he wouldn't have a chance to tell her all of the things he wanted to say to her now. How much he loved her, the way she made him feel, that he wanted her to stay in his arms forever and never leave.

The science lab was located on the third level but he had no way of getting up there. The doors were all locked, the trees to far away to climb and try to jump on top of the building, so how was he suppose to get in? He passed by a window, his reflection racing his heart up thinking it was someone else and then it occurred to him. He ran over to the window, peering in to make sure the classroom was empty, and then tried to pull the window up from the outside though he knew it wouldn't work. If it were that easy than Harbor could be broken into at anytime and there would be no need to even lock the doors. He stepped back, lifted his foot back, and kicked through the window. The glass shattered and fell onto the floor, the noise deafening when he was trying to slip in quietly. He knocked the rest of the glass out from around the window, not caring so much as long as he had a way in, and then kicked out the screen before jumping into the classroom. He was in and now all he had to do was to get to Marissa somehow with a shooter walking along the halls.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks to **thekiller00, Girlz-Rule, newportgirl22, and Westcoastlover08 **for the reviews, shorter chapter this time but next one will reveal the shooter.**

Ryan crept quietly through the classroom he had just broken into, not wanting to cause any attention to his location if there was a shooter on the loose inside the school. The only thing he wanted was to race up to the science lab, rescue Marissa, and tell her that as long as she was in his arms there was nothing left to figure out. The thought of sharing something that personal, bearing out his soul to her, was almost more terrifying then finding himself in the present situation.

He peeked his head slowly out of the door, making sure that nobody was in the hallway he was about to enter. Seeing it was deserted he moved as fast as he could while still keeping his footsteps silent until he was at the end near the staircase. Each corner, each new hallway, gave way to new terror that he would come across Marissa hurt, that he had been too late to save her. That feeling forced his legs to move faster, the stealth he was trying to maintain forgotten as the need to save her took over his body.

Reaching the third floor, where the science lab was located just down the hall from where he was standing inside of the stairway, he opened the door and felt the contents of his breakfast trying to leave his stomach. The hallway that would lead him to Marissa had students laying in it, some not moving, otherwise crying out for help as their wounds prevented them from escaping. Just the few seconds he had glimpsed was enough to hold a hand over his mouth, sweat covering his body. Never in his life had he witnessed such a scene, never had he wanted to flee from such a place as where he now found himself.

He tried breathing through his nose, his hands now resting on his knees as he was hunched over, supporting himself with his butt pressed up against the wall. He had to get a grip, remain strong if he was going to get her out of this and he braced himself for what he was about to see again.

Opening the door quietly, checking quickly to make sure no one with a gun was standing there waiting for him, he slipped into the hallway and shut the door softly. His eyes remained focused on the lockers in front of him after his brief sweep, but he knew that he would have to look if he wanted to make it down the hall. Slowly he turned to face the direction he needed to go in, several bodies of students that he had gone to class with lying on the floor, others propped up sitting against the lockers with tears streaming down their faces. He held a finger up to his lips, trying to let the ones who were only wounded to remain quiet and not give away his position but they were scarred and one called out his name.

He looked over to see the guy who had sat next to him in trig class, blood covering his shirt as his hand was placed firmly against his shoulder. Ryan crouched down next to him, trying to get the kid to calm down but from the look in his eyes he could see that his classmate was more than terrified.

"Ryan, you got to help me man," the kid screamed, seeing that help was so close after having been shot, "This kid has a gun man, he's going nuts. Firing wildly down the halls, says he's coming back to finish everyone off after he tracks down the ones hiding in the classrooms. You got to help me man, please, Ryan, help me…"

The kid finally lost his voice, instead replaced by sobs as he broke down. Ryan couldn't imagine what he had witnessed and he finally relented, knowing that he couldn't leave him behind. He tried to pull him up but the kid was taller and heavier than he was.

"You got to help me Chad, I'll get you out of here but you've got to help," Ryan said, holding Chad's face so that he was looking directly at him.

Chad finally realized that he was going to be saved, a light flickering in his eyes that had been lost up until now. He slung his good arm over Ryan's shoulder, helping Ryan hoist him up so that he was standing. Slowly they made their way down the stairway that Ryan had just come up, knowing he was losing valuable time with getting to Marissa but also realizing he couldn't live with himself if Chad died in the hallway before help could get to him.

"Can you make it around the building by yourself?" Ryan asked as he helped Chad climb out of the window he had broken to enter the building.

"Thank you Ryan," Chad said as he ran quickly away from the building, not stopping to look back as he tried to put as much distance between him and what was now a horrible place for him.

Ryan turned back inside, retracing his steps until he was on the third floor. He had to stop at the door, not wanting to go back into the hallway where fellow students were lying there. He didn't want to see that again, ever, the first time had been enough. He knew that even if he turned around and fled back to the outside, that what he had witnessed in the hallway would forever be burned into his memory. That and knowing that Marissa was still in there, got him to open the door and continue on.

This time, knowing what was there, he kept his eyes up off of the floor while listening for any sounds that would alert him to the shooter's position. He wasn't ready to die yet, he still had a lifetime of moments to experience and he hoped that Marissa still had that opportunity as well so that they could share them together. Just thinking about her again got his feet moving a little quicker, the door to the science lab nearly in front of him.

As he reached the door, he extended his hand to the doorknob but found that it was locked. He should have been prepared for this, knowing that the students inside would have thought to at least lock the door to prevent the shooter from coming in. He knocked as quietly as he could while still being heard from the inside, whispering to Marissa that it was him.

He waited and listened, hoping to hear movement from the inside but the only thing he could hear was the sound of his heart beating loudly. He knocked again, louder this time while raising his voice as loud as he dared. Someone inside heard him; he could hear footsteps cautiously approaching the door. As he whispered back and forth to the person on the other side, trying to prove that he wasn't the shooter, his frustration nearly hit the breaking point. He wasn't up for playing games, just open the damn door so he could get inside.

Finally the people on the inside agreed that they should open the door and Ryan heard the lock click. He swung open the door, scanning the terrified faces looking at him until he saw Marissa near the back of the crowd. Tears were streaming down her face, her mascara leaving streaks. Her face was the only one Ryan saw now, pushing his way past the students until he reached her.

She fell into his arms, a fresh set of sobs escaping as she buried her face into his chest. Relief washed over him as he held her, knowing that she was safe and in his arms. He hadn't wanted to think about her being one of the students harmed, but the thought had crossed his mind too many times and now those thoughts could be forgotten. As long as she was in his arms, everything would be OK. They were going to be OK, he knew there was nobody in the world that he wanted as much as her and he wasn't going to waste anymore time. As he stroked her hair, whispering that it would be alright now, he heard the people behind them gasp and terror froze his body.

It was like living in a horror movie, knowing that he shouldn't turn around but not being able to stop himself. The only thing missing was the music that let you know the killer was going to jump out of the dark and attack while you yelled at the person on the screen to stop being stupid and run the opposite way. He let Marissa out of his arms, turning so that he was shielding her from what ever was going to happen as his eyes fell onto a kid his age, smiling as he pointed the gun at Ryan.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks to **thekiller00, RJMoonspell4, Girlz-Rule, newportgirl22, Westocoastlover08, and michelle1249 **for all the reviews. The comments about the shooter were great but since I already had the storyline added in, couldn't change it. Let me know what you think about this one!**

Ryan looked over at the gunman, his arms reaching back behind him protectively to shield Marissa from whatever was about to happen. When he had heard about the shooting, he hadn't imagined it would be a student at Harbor, that it was some lunatic thinking that he had a message to deliver for his final farewell. Never had he believed that it could be somebody his age, somebody that he shared a few classes with. The thought alone of coming into a high school with a gun was reprehensible, an unforgiving act that should never be committed nor ever experienced but here he was yet again, starring down the barrel of a gun.

"Think you're going to be a hero?" the kid asked and as soon as the words came out of his mouth, his eyes focused on Ryan and recognition flickered in them, "Ryan? Ryan Atwood?"

"Yeah, Ryan Atwood," Ryan said, hoping that confirming his name would be a benefit to him and not the last thing that ever left his mouth.

"What are you doing here? You're not suppose to be here," the kid said again, his face clouded in confusion, the gun shaking unsteadily in his hand.

"I'm here though, this whole room is full of kids," Ryan continued talking, hoping that he could either stall the kid with the gun until help arrived or talk him into putting the gun down, "Everyone is scarred here, maybe we should let them go."

"NO!" the kid shouted, his anger breaking through once more as the gun was raised up to Ryan's face level once more, "No one is leaving here today."

"Alright, just calm down," Ryan spoke quietly, not wanting to upset him any further, "I wasn't talking about letting everyone go. I just thought that maybe if the people here can leave, that would give me and you a chance to talk. That way we wouldn't have any distractions going on. We could sit down, just the two of us, and talk."

"You want to talk with me?" the gunman questioned, his eyes pleading for the truth though he was apprehensive about believing Ryan's words.

"Yes, just me and you," Ryan said with a smile, hoping that it wouldn't show the fear he was feeling with a gun pointed right at him, "It would be a whole lot easier with everyone out of here, just the two of us without any interruptions."

"Ryan, what are you doing?" Marissa whispered in his ear, doing a horrible job at keeping the fear out of her voice.

He ignored her as he watched the kid in front of him, contemplating on whether he could trust Ryan or not. He could see the battle going on in the kid's mind, evident on his face as he debated this. The only thing Ryan wanted was to get the room cleared, that way he knew that Marissa was out of harm's way instead of attracting all of the unwanted attention directly in the room she was in.

"If I let everyone go, you'll stay and talk to me?" the kid questioned, needing to hear Ryan say it again.

"I promise," Ryan spoke calmly, even though his stomach was clenched tightly into knots, "As soon as the last kid leaves the room, I'll even lock the door so it will be just you and me."

"OK," he agreed after some silence, his eyes scanning Ryan to see if he could catch any lies, "I'll let everyone from here go if you stay but if you try anything, ANYTHING, then I'll shoot everyone running from here."

"You've got a deal," Ryan promised, squeezing Marissa's hand tight as she had reached to grab it, "Can I explain everything to the people in here, just so we don't cause a panic?"

"Sure, I guess that would be alright."

Ryan knew that everyone in the room could hear the two of them talking, it wasn't like they didn't have everyone's undivided attention. He just wanted to make sure that when the door did open, the students didn't start a stampede for the exit and cause an unnecessary reaction from the guy with the gun. The last thing he wanted was for somebody to get shot after they were all thinking they may escape alive.

"Alright everybody, when the door opens, file out slowly in a line," Ryan said, looking at everybody to make sure they were following along, "There's a broken window in the algebra room on the first floor where you can exit the building, but please, go slowly."

Ryan watched as the shooter opened the door, his eyes watching everyone to make sure they obeyed the orders. Even though every single one of them was terrified, this last twenty minutes something that would haunt their dreams for the rest of their lives, they obeyed orders and began exiting one at a time with no sudden movements. Ryan felt his hand being squeezed again and turned around, Marissa the one person he had to see leave the room.

"Come on Coop, lets get out of here," Summer exclaimed, grabbing her friend's hand as she walked over to her side.

"Ryan, what are you doing?" Marissa hissed, not wanting him to switch places with them.

"Just go Riss, I'll be behind you in a little bit," he assured her, their voice low.

"I am not leaving!" she whispered back forcefully, her eyes locked onto his while daring him to defy her.

"Summer, get her out of here," Ryan said, giving Summer the hand he was holding onto, "Seth is waiting outside for you."

"Chino," she started, but then her emotions forced her to stop.

"Ryan, I will not leave you here," Marissa continued as the last of the students were almost out of the door.

"Summer, if there was ever a time for one of your rage blackouts, now would be the time," Ryan said, pushing Marissa past him while Summer drug her by the hand.

He watched as the two girls walked to the door, his breath being held as he waited for something to happen. Marissa looked back, not being able to stop Summer from dragging her out, her eyes pleading for him to come with her. He gave her a smile, one that he hoped conveyed all of the love and feelings he felt for her, and then she disappeared.

He heard the door shut loudly, the lock click back into place, and then the breath he was holding let out. For some reason, he had just agreed to lock himself into a classroom with a guy who had brought a gun to school this morning and opened fire on his classmates. It was stupid, it was insane, but he had done it to make sure that Marissa was safe and now that she was, he could handle the rest if he had to.

"Just me and you," Ryan said, sitting down in the desk next to him, his eyes never leaving the gun.

"You want to know why I agreed to let them all go Ryan?" the guy said as he sat down on the teacher's desk in the front of the room.

"I don't know, why don't you tell me?" Ryan said, thinking of a few reasons but wanting the guy to keep talking.

"Two reasons Ryan, two. One, none of them were water polo players. Yeah, some of them were part of the popular crowd, like your girlfriend and her friend, but you knew them so I didn't hurt them. Two, there's been a question I've been wanting to ask you for awhile now and I figured that if we were alone talking, I could ask it."

"Sure, ask whatever you've got on your mind," Ryan said, the gun resting on the kid's lap now but still directly aimed at his chest.

"That day when you punched out Luke Ward and his friend, when all the students were gathered around laughing at what was going on, why did you step in? Why did you stick up for me, help me pick up my books and everything?" the kid asked and suddenly Ryan recognized.

It was the kid who was being teased that day, the one were he couldn't handle it anymore and finally did something about it. That was the day he and Marissa were no longer together, the day where nothing seemed to go right for him. The kid sitting in front of him right now was the same kid who a week ago had his underwear pulled up to the middle of his back while the polo players pushed him around and spit at him. The same kid who mumbled thanks when Ryan bent down, retrieved his books off the grass, and handed them back to him. The poor kid who had the misfortune of living in Newport with parents that might have been rich in nearly any other community but just didn't get the whole designer labels and cocktail parties.

"I guess I was tired of seeing it happen," Ryan said, not sure what would set this kid off, "I'm from Chino so watching these spoiled rich punks get away with whatever they want finally caught up to me."

"Do you want to know why I did this today?" the kid questioned, his face begging Ryan to answer.

"I honestly don't think that I will ever understand why you did this today," Ryan said, the words out of his mouth before he could think about them, the hallway flashing in his mind again, "but I guess I did promise you a talk so you can try."

"My whole life, I've been the kid that gets picked on. My first day of kindergarten I got my pants pulled down on the bus. In first grade it was sending notes to girls with my name on them declaring I was in love with them. No one knew my name, just calling me fag, queer, or bitch and once we got a little older, they would just punch me whenever I walked by. I did nothing to these kids, I never had a chance. I couldn't fight back, I'm not athletic or good looking, I don't fit into any of their crowds. From day one Ryan, I was the outsider, humiliated or beaten in some way shape or form every day since I started school with them. Do you know how it feels to be scared of going to the bathroom because you might get your head thrown in a toilet or of walking to class in the hall because you usually end up on the ground or in a locker?"

"My mom was a drunk," Ryan spoke, somehow needing to relate to this kid as he was highly agitated again, "she was never around for me and her boyfriends were so gone on booze or drugs too that they'd beat the crap out of me. I had to lie to all of my teachers about the bruises or the black eyes, sometimes I just wouldn't even go to school for a few weeks at a time. You might not think that I know what you're going through, but I do. I've been beaten and humiliated my whole childhood, I know what it was like."

"See, then you know why those punks had to pay!" he shouted, jumping up off the desk, his gun waving around wildly.

"No, I don't see. No matter how hard times can get, holding a gun doesn't make you the bigger person. Shooting people doesn't make anything right, it doesn't prove anything. They may have taken away your childhood and made it so unbearable that you'll never forgive them, but what you did today, you took away their entire life. Not a single one of them will be able to forgive you for what you've done because they no longer have that option and that's where you differ from them," Ryan said, the caution he had been trying to maintain forgotten as he tried to reach out to this kid.

"Holding a gun doesn't make me a man? It doesn't prove anything?" he yelled, the gun now pointing very steadily at Ryan, "Stand up! I thought maybe you weren't one of them but I guess I was wrong. You're just like them!"

"Hey, lets calm down," Ryan said, standing up with his hands raised in the air, trying not to make any sudden movements.

"Little late for calming down don't you think?" the shooter yelled back, his eyes glossed over as the rage took over his body once again, "You know what happens to punks Ryan? It all catches up to them in the end."

Ryan's eyes locked on the gun, the thoughts going through his mind not of dying or the finger squeezing on the trigger, but of disappointment. The only thing he had wanted to do was tell Marissa how much he loved her, that he had nothing left to figure out because he knew that she was the one for him and he would no longer be able to do that. If he would have just told her he loved her before he made Summer drag her out, then maybe he would have been at peace but he hadn't. That was the thought going through his mind as he watched the gun starring him down, the finger on the trigger pulling before he heard the loud bang.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks to **michelle1249, thekiller00, J7chick18, Girlz-Rule, newportgirl22, and Westcoastlover08 **for all the reviews for the last post. Sorry it took so long to update but the holidays got busy. Let me know what you think!**

_Bang, _the last sound that he had heard. Time seemed to stand still at that moment, as the bullet projected from the barrel, as if he had all the time he needed to think things through. The sad part about it was he had had all the time to think about it, just that he never acted on it. All of the times that he could have told Marissa he loved her, all of the nights that he could have held her in his arms but instead was too caught up in trying to find some type of feeling back into his life by fighting. In the end, she was the one that had brought feeling back into his life, the feel of her skin against his, the way her hair smelled when she hugged him tight, the way her lips felt against his. Those were the moments that awoken him, gave more meaning to his life than he had ever had before and he had been foolish enough to disregard them because he didn't know how else to deal with his pain.

When you're faced with a life or death situation, people always comment on how their life flashed before their eyes; in a matter of seconds a person's whole existence plays out like a movie on fast forward. Ryan had always wondered if that was true or not, if a person could be so lucky to have those final few seconds to replay everything that was important to them, just to be able to see things again one more time. The sad part for him was that there weren't a lot of memories from his lifetime to fill up that time. His movie started with the Cohens taking him in, not of his childhood or Chino, but from age fifteen on. It was almost as if that was when his life had truly started and then once Marissa entered the picture that was when it took off. Flashes of meeting her on the beach, the talks that came so easily as they got to know each other, waking up to her in the hospital, hearing her say 'I love you' for the first time – all memories that brought comfort to him, knowing that somehow, he had found the one person that he was destined to meet.

The only momentary pause to his sudden wave of happiness was wondering how differently things might have turned out if he hadn't bottled up inside after helping Eddie. Would he still be here, in the very spot with a gun pointed at him if he hadn't? How much happier would he have been with Marissa, each day he had found himself more in love with her yet he wasted months locked in the pool house or at the fight club instead of with her? If she hadn't broken up with him, would he have stuck up for the kid that was about to shoot him, would he be suspended right now or would he have been in the school when this started and be outside waiting with Marissa right now? As the questions rattled off in his head, he fully realized that with each and every decision a person makes their world changes. With each choice comes an outcome, like flipping a quarter. If the person called tails, this would happen but if they called heads, a totally different outcome would occur. Worrying about whether to tell someone they loved them or not now seemed laughable because what would happen? The worst they could do was tell you they didn't feel the same way, it would hurt for awhile but eventually you would be better off because you wouldn't be fantasizing about a relationship that was never going to happen. The best is that they could say it back and when it all came down to it, hearing somebody say that to you, that you felt the same way about was what made it all worth it.

These thoughts coursed through his mind and though it was good to have that time to relive them and realize a few of the secrets to life, he began wondering why the bullet hadn't hit him yet or why there wasn't any pain. Was he dead already, the bullet already penetrating his body and it had been so instant that he felt nothing, or was this the way it happened, reliving things until you came to the end?

Suddenly men came flying into the room and Ryan was drawn back from his trance as quickly as if somebody had slapped him across the face. He registered the door was broken off its hinges, that was the sound he had heard, laying on the floor while police with guns drawn swarmed into the room. Neil, the kid who had been mere seconds away from shooting him was now face down on the desk, his weapon confiscated as his hands were roughly pulled behind his back while he was patted down. Ryan watched all of this; detached from the situation as if it were merely a DVD he had sat down to watch from the safety of his couch. The sound from the real world seemed to have vanished, everyone running around and mouths opening though no sound was emitted and then he was forcefully pushed to the ground. He felt his hands being pulled behind his back as cold metal encompassed his wrists, hands touching him everywhere as they searched for more weapons. He was yanked to his feet firmly, the handcuffs biting into his skin and the pain entering his body reawakened his senses. His shoulders hurt from his arms being bent backwards, his wrists hurt from holding up his body weight, and yet he smiled knowing that for some reason, he was still alive.

…

"Ryan? Oh my god," Marissa nearly yelled entering the pool house, her eyes finally locating him as he lay on the bed.

She ran the short distance, jumping on top of him in an effort to reach him so quickly. She buried her head into his chest, fresh tears pouring forth now that she knew he was alright. He didn't say anything, just wrapping her into his arms tightly as they lay there together. It was when the smell of her hair arose his senses did he remember all of the thoughts going through his mind when he had thought that he was going to die; everything that he wanted to tell her, everything that she meant to him and everything that she had brought to his life. Until now, he had forgotten about that, having been down at the police station answering questions but holding her in his arms made him remember it all again.

"I'm so glad you're okay, they wouldn't tell us anything," Marissa sobbed into his shirt, having had her own flashbacks while waiting outside the school once they had escaped.

He opened his mouth to tell her that he was fine, that everything was okay but then shut it. The fact was it wasn't okay. Today he had thought he might have lost her for good and then believed that he was going to die. Things were definitely not okay as the hallway with the students flashed though his mind again, of helping Chad out of the building, of their school being used for a hunting ground. Their lives were never going to be the same again but it didn't matter because as long as they could hold each other in their arms, then Ryan knew they could survive.

"How could you be so stupid?" Marissa sat up, her anger now getting the better of her once she saw that he was fine, hitting him solidly in the chest, "How could you put your life into danger just to save everyone else like that? Do you know that I wouldn't be able to survive if something had happened to you today? Did you ever think about how stupid that hero act of yours was today?"

He let her carry on, starring at her beautiful face while she released all of her built up fear. He knew that she wasn't really mad at him, just scarred and he could handle that. They could handle that. The only thing that mattered to him right now was that she was here with him, even if that meant yelling and hitting him.

"Are you done?" he asked when she had stopped coming up with things to yell at him about, her hands resting safely at her hips.

"Ryan, I was just so scarred in there and then you came and stayed and –"

"I love you," he said, pulling her down on top of him and pressing his lips against hers, explaining everything that had gone though his mind in that kiss.

"You sure you don't have to go run off and save some people from a burning building?" she asked, though the smile radiating from her face showed him she was going to be alright.

"Trust me, the only thing that's going to heat up right now that I'm interested in is the two of us," he said, pulling her down so that he could make good on his words.

**Thanks for all the reviews that I got for this. When I first started with The Hero, I imagined it going for three parts. I wasn't all that excited with the beginning of this one but with the reviews for the last few posts I think I will get the third installment up and running sometime soon. I wanted to keep this going but what I have planned out next takes part in a few years so easier just to start a new one running. Let me know what you guys think and thanks!**


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